Ah, Thanksgiving. Turkey. Trimmings. The family gathered ‘round in good cheer and loving harmony. Well, maybe that’s not how it usually goes.
Even if it’s taking place virtually, that doesn’t mean absence will make the heart grow any fonder, or that emotions will be dialed down by distance. Likewise, just because you’re out of reach in an online feast doesn’t mean you can’t be touched. Indeed, your more determined kin may well feel even more emboldened to land a few virtual sucker punches in cyberspace.
Even in the best of times, Thanksgiving with the family can be a tough time. It’s sort of like looking into a cracked mirror and not liking what you see, because the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and you’ve all learned a lot at your parents’ knees.
Much of that learning took place when you were very young, and still unable to decide for yourself what would be good for you later on in life. As a result, those life lessons are so much a part of you, you’re are often unaware of how they underlie your feelings, thoughts and actions.
Now, much of that was pretty good, but some of it wasn’t. That’s the stuff that contributes to your lack of satisfaction. Naturally, when you’re among family, you’re going back to the well, and are among those who are can draw on their experience at pushing those buttons that bring out the worst in you. Hitting the “Leave” button may make for a dramatic exit, but probably won’t leave you feeling very good. Likewise, it could well make the collective hangover of rancor and repercussions even worse.
Still, it doesn’t have to be that way, if you know how not to stir the pot and can dodge the darts thrown at you on-screen or in the flesh. With good psychotherapy, you’ll learn that you can’t do much about what other family members do. However, you can do something about what you do, so you don’t have to feel burdened by them.
What we’ll bring to the table is the insight you need, so you can live your life with real satisfaction instead of letting family feelings get under your skin. Once you get wise to that downside, you can have a fun time and not let the turkeys get you down. Then, you can discover the difference those new lessons learned can make when you apply them to the rest of your life.
As a licensed mental health professional, trained psychotherapist and experienced counselor, I can help you develop the reflective resilience to deal with the obstacles life may throw your way, online or off. Contact me to start the process of freeing yourself and starting living the life you want – I would love to help.
